Why I hate dresses

I don't wear dresses or skirts. I prefer pants and shorts by far. At various times in my life, I have felt that these ridiculous pieces of clothing were necessary to looking dressed-up or professional. Now that I'm older, I have declared a moratorium on impractical clothing. Why? Here are the reasons.

1. When I was in kindergarten I forgot to wear underwear one day. I didn't notice until the teacher approached me when little boys started lying on the ground and looking up my skirt when I walked by. I had no idea why they were doing what they were doing. My teacher, having had a lot of experience with 5 year olds had a spare pair of underwear handy. They were 3-4 sizes too big for me so they required copious amounts of safety pins to keep them up. From then on, dresses had a massive point against them since they allow creepy little boys to look at things that you would rather they not see.

2. I was a very active child. I particularly enjoyed climbing up things and jumping off of them. The picture below illustrates some of the difficulty that girl clothing creates when trying to climb anything.

• Creepy little boys can look up your skirt. 
• You can't swing your legs up to the bar and hang upside down because creepy little boys can look at your underwear.
• The skirt is too constricting to allow full leg movement.
• When you are hanging upside down, the skirt falls down to cover your face and you can't see anything.

3. You have to sit in certain ways to prevent the display of your underwear.

• You can't sit cross-legged unless you have a very wide, long skirt. Cross-legged is still my favourite way to sit.
• You are supposed to keep your legs together when sitting with one leg over the other which is uncomfortable.
• Short steps are often required if the skirt is not loose.

4. Pantyhose used to be required when wearing skirts for work. Pantyhose are evil.

5. You can't wear running shoes with skirts without looking like an idiot. High heels require practice to walk in and can make your feet hurt. At my high school graduation, I wore a dress (and it was truly horrible) with high heels and if not for a boy named Mike, I would have fallen face first on the stage when I got my heel caught on a step.

6. I look like a really bad drag queen in a dress or skirt.

Grackles

You may wonder why I chose Grackle as my name. It is a valid question. Many people seem to hate grackles, I will itemize some of the reasons.

• Grackles will eat huge quantities of grain and corn from farmer's field
• Their 'song' is not pleasing to the ear
• They will steal food from other birds if they can
• Grackles will clean out your bird feeder in mere minutes
• They are hooligans and will scare away other more appealing birds
• They steal eggs from smaller and cuter birds
• They will kill and eat small birds and mice
• They will mob anything that threatens them

So why do I like them?

• Highly entertaining to watch
• Beautiful when the light hits them
• Hooligans but don't seem malicious -they don't chase the lovely finch from the finch food because they don't want to eat it
• Singing is about as pleasing to listen to as mine
• Eat grubs and insects (which is a big plus in my book)
• Clever enough to soften hard food in the birdbath before eating it
• Gregarious
• Will mob when required
• Opportunists
• Like shiny things (just like me)

Here are some pictures I've taken (they are common grackles).

Welcome!

If you're clever, you will assume from the title that this blog is going to be somewhat random. I've started blogs before but after a few months, I run out of things to say about the topic. Then I feel guilty. Guilt makes me avoid dong anything. Then a month or so passes and I realize that I have nothing more to say. Since this blog has no topic, I don't have to focus so perhaps I will be a better blogger.

What you will find here depends on my mood and what I feel like talking about. I am interested in a lot of different things and I may talk about all of them. Please become a follower of my blog (it's easy - there's even a button on the side to help you) and leave comments.  Feel free to agree or disagree or share some stuff that you find interesting. I want to hear what you have to say but don't be mean. If you are mean or bigoted or offensive, I will remove your comment and possibly send my revenge flock after you (see artist's rendition below).

You might find photographs, links and even pictures that I've made in Paint. I am a big fan of Allie Brosh and her use of Paint pictures in her blog. I have little ability to draw or paint the ordinary way but using a mouse, I can at least create something that looks like I'm a  five year old rather than 3. No, I'm not trying to copy Allie, that would be like shooting myself in the foot because she is very talented.

Revenge Flock for Mean People